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Golan the Insatiable

Entry updated 8 June 2020. Tagged: TV.

US animated tv series (2013-2015). ADHD, Amazing Schlock, Double Hemm, Friends Night. Created by Josh Miller. Executive Producers include Hend Baghdady and Nick Weidenfeld. Directors include Douglas Einar Olsen. Writers include Pat Casey and Josh Miller. Voice cast includes Mary Mack, Josh Miller, Aubrey Plaza and Rob Riggle. Twelve 11-22 minute episodes. Colour.

Golan (Miller/Riggle), a horned, demonic "God-lord, commander of all that was seen and unseen" from the Gkruool Dimension, finds himself on Earth: specifically, the residence of the Beekler family of Minnesota. Their six year old goth daughter, Dylan (Mack/Plaza), is delighted; the rest of the family are more ambivalent. Golan's arrival in the first season is a result of his subjects overthrowing and exiling him; in the second its because Dylan finds a spellbook (see Magic) and summons him – "Golan, we are going to fulfil my school counsellor's prophecy and unleash a bloody reign of terror on this town".

Golan is a murderous oaf; petulant but inclined to indolence unless roused. He only occasionally shows affection for Dylan but accepts her veneration as his due. Dylan is never happier than when surrounded by gore and able to declaim "Drown in the nightmare that is your pathetic reality", or "God's creatures aren't going to cave in their own skulls"; and if she can do so whilst waving an axe, so much the better. The death count is high – and frequently includes children – but the authorities are lax, so repercussions are few – and the show's disinterest in continuity means that the dismembered may reappear next episode anyway.

Though set in the present day, one episode features sentient Robots; in another Golan is Cloned, though as a result of magic, not science (of which Golan has a low opinion, deeming it "magic for losers"). In the final episode Dylan casts a spell to make Golan pregnant: he decides to keep the child since "I grew up in a very pro-life dimension ... we don't kill anything until it can smile." His offspring is a tentacled abomination (see Monsters), resembling both himself and Dylan, which bloodily murders everyone as its parents look on fondly.

Golan the Insatiable was an enjoyable, often funny show (see Humour), particularly when Dylan is at centre stage. The first season had six 11-minute episodes. The second, with six 22-minute episodes, was a reboot: its greater length meant more subplots featuring Dylan's family, unfortunately. The voice cast was changed between seasons, as was the brevity of Golan's jockstrap. [SP]


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