Visit to a Small Planet
Entry updated 7 July 2025. Tagged: Film.
US film (1960). Hal Wallis Productions. Directed by Norman Taurog. Written by Edmund Beloin and Henry Garson, based on the play by Gore Vidal. Cast includes Joan Blackman, Fred Clark, Earl Holliman, Jerry Lewis and John Williams. 85 minutes. Black and white.
Mr Delton (Williams), an Alien geography teacher (see Education in SF), lectures his pupils on that minor galaxy which lies beyond civilization, the Milky Way; in its backwoods is a "rather piddling star known as the Sun, with a really pitiful array of planets" (see Solar System). Noticing one of his pupils, Kreton (Lewis), is joyriding to Earth with the intention of watching the American Civil War, he calls him back, pointing out the last place he made his hobby is now a dead planet: Mars (see Disaster). Despite being ordered to write "I will not visit the Earth" 10 billion times, Kreton returns, arriving dressed as a Confederate officer and believing it to be 1861 – his Spaceship travels in Time as well as space (see Time Machine). In fact it is 1960, but as a fancy dress ball is about to begin his attire is not remarked upon. Initially his knowledge is too patchy to register anomalies such as television, but Kreton does eventually realize his mistake, explaining the situation to broadcaster Roger Putnam Spelding (Clark), whose pre-recorded programme is currently lambasting the latest flying saucer craze (see UFOs) afflicting credulous Americans. Mr Delton decides to let his pupil continue, hoping the experience will get the Earth out of his system.
Kreton becomes fascinated by the romance between Spelding's daughter Ellen (Blackman) and her boyfriend Conrad (Holliman). Ellen finds him interesting; Conrad does not, and questions his intentions: Kreton explains that his people no longer "tangle" (see Sex) as they are now Immortal and have eliminated passion ("We don't feel anything ... inside we're sort of like cold spaghetti"). Nevertheless, he is clearly developing a romantic interest in Ellen, so Conrad persuades her to elope and marry. On their return, Delton – who is watching proceedings on a viewer – broadcasts (see Telepathy) Kreton's thoughts on Ellen to the couple, then – when Conrad beats him up – blocks his ability to defend himself ("What's the matter – you a coward?" "That's about it."). Kreton says being hit is no problem as he does not feel pain: Mr Delton fixes that. Matters escalate and, after being pursued by the National Guard, Kreton has had enough of Earth and Delton takes him away.
Kreton's spaceship can become Invisible; he has a one-way Force Field whereby he can touch others but they cannot touch him; by tugging his ear lobe he can disintegrate a target (see Weapons) or force people to recite "Mary had a little lamb", the latter used whenever the media attempt to report on him (a photo taken of Kreton becomes one of a shepherdess and young sheep). He can also read minds – a power he uses, along with blackmail, to stop Spelding losing his job – and broadcast thoughts, including those of Dogs and Cats (see Communication). When drunk, Kreton can walk on walls and ceilings. We learn he is "21 million light years" old [sic].
Though based on the play by Gore Vidal and retaining some of the dialogue, this film is tonally very different: here Kreton is supposed to be an overenthusiastic idiot rather than the smug jerk of the original, with the Cold War Satire and plotline of Kreton trying to start World War Three dropped (in the play he is asked "How many millions of people do you plan to kill?" and replies, "Well, quite a few, but they love this sort of thing. You can't convince me they don't."). There is still some mild Satire and a few of the jokes are moderately funny (see Humour), but Lewis's gurning often irritates, and the scene set in a jazz club goes on far too long. Clichés include a drunkard looking at and then throwing away his bottle on seeing Kreton use his powers. [SP]
links
previous versions of this entry